tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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