I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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