In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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