is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
