I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
