Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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