It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
