Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
That was before I lit my hair on fire
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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