Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
