Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
