Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
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Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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