help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
