I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
