guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
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Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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