my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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