Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
