Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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