Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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