Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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