I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
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I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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