its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
