Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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