I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
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He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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