You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
