Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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