I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
