remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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