Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
