I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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