i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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