you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
