I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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