Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
