we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Found the puke drawer
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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