I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
