bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
