remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
