no. you can't hotbox the world.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
i think im in europe. pls send help
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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