great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
