there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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