He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
