i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
