Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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