How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
how does that bad decision feel?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
