DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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