whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
