so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Randomize
