Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i think my mom watched the whole time
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
