So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
