so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
