HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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