I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
