I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
