i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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