I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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