You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Vodka?
Forever.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
