Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
