Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So squirting runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize