whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
