Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
