I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
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