Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Randomize
